It's a New Day... It's a New Life....



This song encapsulated all of my feelings.


See... today is Day 1 of my new life. And, to quote the song... "Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel. It's a new dawn, It's a new day, It's a new life for me."


For those of you that have been in a similar situation with living with a narcissist controlling your every move and life, and are finally strong enough to break away from that, and taste freedom for the first time... you know the feeling too.


For those of you that have not tasted this freedom yet. Let me tell you, my friend, it is worth it!


It is so worth to turmoil of the fight with every ounce of fear.


It is so worth the panic stricken nights of cold-sweat while battling my own mind of the "What if's" and the worrisome moments of second guessing myself...but deciding to push through and past all of the noise in my own head.


If you are able to muster the faith, and not to sound biblical (but...), the size of a mustard seed and step over that blockade that you have put in your own way -


You too will feel what I am feeling today.


And, you too will be saying, "I'm feeling good"!! And that my friends, it my ultimate goal.




I would be lying if I said that this was easy. I would be lying if I told you that everything is as easy-peasy as it's seeming by the beginning of this post. I would be lying if I said that I haven't sat and cried myself to almost hysterics at points the past few weeks (because I have... more than I want to admit).


But, I will tell you the same thing that others (many others) have said to me over the past 25+ years.


That is this....


When you finally make the decision for yourself that you are done.... that is all it will take to walk away!


It sounds simple, I know. And, every time some one had told me that in the past... I thought that it sounded too easy. After all - how many times had I said that I was done? Only to find my going through and putting up with all of the shit again??


The fact is... once I finally made the decision for myself... it really was all it took to walk away. And the fact is... every other time that I thought I had said that I was done in the past... I really didn't mean it.


I let fear get in the way of my freedom.


I let fear rob me of my sanity.


I let fear kill my self-confidence.


I let fear steal my knowledge that I can do this (life) on my own.


And the worst part...??


I let fear rule my life, to the point that I walked away from the purpose that God had for me and my life.





Well....


No more! I have finally started to speak out. And, I have found that there are so many women like me that wish that they would have had someone warn them, and tell them what they were getting into when they were younger.


So, the fearful woman I was, admittedly thought that there had to be someone out there.


Maybe she just isn't loud enough, or well-known enough.


Maybe I just wasn't in the right circles to have heard her.


Maybe... maybe... maybe...


Guess what?!?


I did a google search. I did a bing search. I did a yahoo search.


There isn't anyone. There is no one talking to our young women and men and talking to them about the dangers of getting into an intimate relationship with a narcissist. Not in the way that make a big enough impact. Not in a way that reaches the 16-28 year-old age group.


Well - there will be now!


Love you friend! Hold on. We will get through this together. Let's journey on!


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