Self-care vs Mental Health

Updated: Mar 10



The above image is one that I had posted to my Facebook profile. And boy did that illicit some response from my friends and family!


It definitely was a surprise to me. I'm not sure if it was because I don't think most of my friends and family really read what I post all of the time... or not.


But, one of my best friends actually sent me an instant message telling me what her thoughts of my post were. And that this post had upset her. This instant message got me thinking.


Don't get me wrong, the instant message from my best friend was one that really touched my heart, and my soul. She reminded me the self-care is never selfish, and that focusing on oneself and their family should never be apologized for. And, I agree with her.


I posted the above image in a moment of reflection on my more recent past, but from the view point of how others would see me. Not from my personal reflection.


She also pointed out that I should never excuse or wish away my past - because it made me who I am today. And that is a "stronger person" that has "more grace with your friends, family, and most importantly your children. Giving them a life, and acceptance for who they are." (I'm quoting her message here.)


You know what?!? She's right. And you know what else?? God knows who to put in your life. Granted - this friend is more like a little sister to me than just a friend. I've known her for well over 40 years. We may not physically see each other, and haven't for well over 1/2 that time. But, she is my girl that will be only a phone call away when I need her, and I am hers.


But, her point rang so true - that it was like being hit with a 2 x 4. Self-care and acknowledgement of needing that care - needs to be ok in our world.


This was an image that she sent me. And oh how I needed it! This is something that rings true for me. Especially dealing with healing from PTSD and severe anxiety disorder. This represents me a lot more than the original image above.


I am not making excuses. I am healing. And, I won't apologize for it.


Now, I hear some of you. And I know that some of you are saying, "Can't you just forget it and move on?!?".


And to those thoughts - my response is this: Bless you! I am so happy that the struggles and challenges that you have been given in life are ones that you have been able to manage so easily. And, I pray that this continues for you, and I pray continued blessings for you and your family.


I just hope that you understand that this is not the case for everyone. Sometimes, those hurts and hang-ups run so deep, that it takes a long time, and a lot of therapy to be able to get passed it and move on.


"Accepting what happened for what it is and forcing your mind to focus on other things is a lot easier said than done. However, leaving the past in the past is undeniably one of the best choices that you could ever make." (Andrea Fischer, 4 Reasons Why You Should Leave Your Past Behind You) Andrea, I agree with you. But again, it's not always that easy.


Andrea gives the following 4 reasons that you should leave your past behind you. They are:


  1. If you never truly drop the past, you can never truly move on.

  2. Living in the past allows old doors to stay open, and new doors to remain shut.

  3. This life is too short to waste time on what’s already done.

  4. You can’t rewind time and change what already happened.


Although I believe that Andrea has some good points - I don't believe that she is a therapist, or a professional on mental health. (Granted, I am not a licensed professional myself either.) And, I know that these are just her random thoughts. But, I also believe that her post goes with the belief of the majority.


These are my personal thoughts on her 4 reasons:


  1. I disagree that you have to truly drop the past before you can move on. As, I have been in therapy myself for 4 years now. But, I have made huge improvements, and have healed a lot without having to drop the past. I believe that you can learn from your past - and that these lessons are ones that you will need to carry with you to continue your healing sometimes.

  2. I completely agree that living in the past does limit your access to new doors opening. I have had this experience myself.

  3. I agree that this may be the case - if you are living in your past.

  4. Truth! The main point - is to learn from what happened and move forward. Keep in mind, that this isn't always easy, and most of all - will take time. Don't let someone rush you through this process, or make you think that this is something that could/should happen immediately or within days.



So - what is my main point to this post?


Love, really L-O-V-E yourself! Treat yourself how you treat anyone else in your life that you cherish, and hold precious. Only - just a step higher. Because honestly, you will be the only person that can fulfill all your needs the way that you want/need them to be filled.


So - Mamas... take that 20 minute candle light bath in the middle of the week! Because after - all... you deserve it!


Just one example. What are some of your examples??


Be kind, and keep holding on to hope.


Keep moving forward on your journey my friend! I'm right here with you.

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