Hey friend! I am so glad that you are here.
A lot continues to happen here in our home. Just as I'm sure is happening there in yours.
School is about to start. So, there is a lot of anxiety being felt on both my kids' heart - and on this mama's heart as well.
And with anxiety, comes a real struggle to stay on my meal plan.
One thing that I am learning through all of this transition in my life, is to lean on friends.
True friends will talk to you about any and all of your struggles. So, while I was having coffee with this friend, and venting about the fact that I have been eating my emotions, she asks me if I have looked into the new trend.
Now, if you don't know. I am NOT one to pay any attention to trends. I am the encyclopedia definition of comfortable and real. Everything about me is either completely real... or completely comfortable.
I HATE anything fake, or is represented as fake. And even more so... I can't stand being uncomfortable. This can be proven in the many many years of living a life in dissociation. But - that is for another time, and yes... simply because it is uncomfortable to talk about it now! (See what I did there?)
So, even though the 100+ extra pounds that I am carrying around at the moment is hard on my body, it however, is not uncomfortable enough for me to do anything drastic about it for now. I'm pretty sure that it is because it is more uncomfortable to have to do something about it, then to just carry it around. Thus, I carry it... all 10 piece luggage set of it.
Sorry, I am getting off of the subject.
Reminding my friend that I am not one to follow any kind of trend, and that even if I wanted to... I would have no idea where to go to even find out what is trending.
"I mean really??!? Is this put on the bus-stop bulletin board, the MSN news page, or on a billboard somewhere??" I said.
And yes... I am being sarcastic, and know that most of those do not actually exist anymore - if they ever did to begin with.
It was more to prove my point that I don't follow what is trending. And to be honest... I don't even know if trending is the word I am supposed to be using.
My friend takes a deep breath, looks me in the eyes, and then lets out a big sigh.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting across the table from her and hoping to have one of my "I'm so naïve and innocent" looks on my face. All the while feeling the admonishment hoovering on the other side of the table, waiting to be outlashed in my direction.
I finally smiled as sweetly as I could, and said, "What is this new miracle cure for the morbidly obese besides starvation, surgery, or the o-mighty-millionaire dollar magic pill/powder."
She simply looked at me and said, "Self-love = weight loss." I sat there, and I will admit it. The little red anger guy from the movie Inside Out was about to blow his top.
I literally took it that she was telling me that I was obese because I didn't love myself. OK... so, I get it. Being obese means so many things. And yes, I am the first to throw it out there... that being obese (especially severely obese like I am) can be a form of self-harm.
What did I just say?!?
Yes. I said it. Being over-weight (and I don't just mean the 5-, 10-, or even 20- lbs being overweight), and I mean the obese over-wight. Can be a form of self-harm.
Because you are putting your body through a 24/7 form of torture.
This is little to no different than you making the decision to not eat and starve yourself. Or to over-exercise. Or to drink lots and lots of water in order to fill up your stomach to make it think that it is full. Along with so many other forms of self-harm.
I got this from a website that referred to me at a parent workshop last week. It's from https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/
What is Self-Injury?
Self-injury involves any behavior in which an individual hurts themselves on purpose. These behaviors are often not related to attempts at suicide, although the individual may also struggle with suicidal ideation. Self-injurious behaviors, instead, are often utilized as maladaptive coping skills to cope with distressing emotion states.
So, going off of this definition... by form of obesity is defined here as being self-harm.
And how do you battle self-harm and win?
I have started to learn how to look in the mirror... and love the person that I see there.
And you know the best part??
Come to find out... my friend was right. I have lost 8lbs in 2 weeks, without giving anything up, and without "dieting". I have simply started to do 1 thing for myself everyday... to remind myself that I am loved - by the one person that should love me the most....
So, take a look in the mirror... and re-introduce yourself. And really learn to love that person.
They are worthy, they are beautiful, and they deserve your love and appreciation!
Let's pick up our bags, and journey on down the road my friend.